Friday, June 11, 2010

It is really great when you discover new tv shows, and you all know how much of a whore I am about my television. I discovered Friday Night Lights and had totally shaken it off as another stupid teen drama involving Football=boring since I don't follow sports. However, I took a leap and since I have all four seasons at my fingertips, began watching. What I love about Friday Night Lights is that the characters are very complex and add that to a group of talented and almost nameless actors you get a great show. Sometimes I think big names can overshadow a lot of films and we just see the same person over and over in the same type of films. So, when you get a show that has new, young, and untainted actors you have something more believable and enticing. The whole thing about football is central, of course, but it also represents a part of America and this thing that holds people together as one. I've always been surprised by the support people give to their sports teams and having been on one myself I understand the bond and what it takes to build a great team. I guess, when you're a small town in America, you have nothing more to than that and for most of these guys on the team, this is their ticket to a better life and into fame and excess. I didn't think that an American show could be compared to my favorite Brit series Skins, but FNL definitely does. Each episode gives a focus on a certain character and we learn the reasoning behind their behavior we have only lightly seen in previous episodes. Part of the reason people are able to connect is the gritty, documentary style filming with a lot of lingering shots showing characters reactions and emotions in a more natural way. What both Skins and FNL do is show a new generation of teens who are smart, fucked up, learning, and trying to grow up even when their parents are more immature and worse off than they are. It makes you feel like you are not alone when things have gone wrong in your life and people have their own issues you don't see outright until you figure out why friends/people act the way they do. So go check out Friday Night Lights AND Skins, I promise you, you will not be disappointed!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

SO I'm not that Bitter

I just have to say, guys are douchebags (girls can be too). I've mentioned this person to my friends before and they know who I'm talking about mostly (no names!). But people in general can be frustrating and difficult, I know many of those people. I just don't like bull shit and I would rather just have people say what they really want to my face and tell me like it is rather than dance around the subject (or act too nice). Now I am not upset recently by anyone so everyone just quit questioning our last conversations and thinking I'm talking about you. This is just a general douchebaggery post I came up with out of some kind of thin air. Now I haven't had the best luck with guys so far as I've NEVER had any kind of stable relationship ever, and maybe it's my cynicism and negativity towards longterm relationships that stops me from ever pursuing anyone further. But...have you ever met that one person you just can't get over? I have and it's quite annoying especially when you become crazy about it and I wouldn't say stalkerish, but just desperate to make a re-connection. BUT I do have to say I had already made a connection (if you know what I mean) with this person once and spectacular/fireworks ablaze, but apparently I misinterpreted this whole situation (which sucks balls). just went downhill from there and I definitely (and it's my fault) put myself in that situation where I should have known that's how it would be. That movie/book "He's Just Not That Into You" is probably something I should pick up. It's hard though when you just find someone that fits your categories and the slots line up and you know that that is what you want. But all my types just seem not to be into me, and ladies and gentlemen I do not settle for anything less. However, I'm sure, as cynical as I am, I will eventually find that person (supposedly). It sucks when you see this person randomly (and I mean RANDOM) and they seem to know everyone else you know. So... I gotta take a hint, but I hate taking those, because I want what I want and so instead of pining after someone I won't really ever get, I'm gonna just have to wait it out and let karma take me there.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Dreams: It's never quite as it seems

So I've finally moved into my new place and things are already much better and normal. I love living in a homely, suburbly neighborhood. The drama is over for now.

So I was driving home the other day and one of my all time favorite songs came on (no it's wasn't Miley's Party in the U.S.A.) and it just brings back this rush of memories and emotions from a long time ago. It's a good rush though, not bad. I know, super corny but you know what I'm talking about and don't EVEN lie. All of you have that song that reminds you of a certain part in your life that even if the song is stupid to other people, it means something to you. So Dreams by The Cranberries is basically my favorite song and I can play on repeat for awhile and not get tired of it. I know that the first time I heard this song was around 1995 when I was at the movie theaters and I don't remember the movie I was watching, but, one of the trailers attached was The Babysitters club....yes. I think I saw the movie, I don't remember, but that point in time when I heard it locked in this kind of happy feeling that whenever I hear the song everything just goes away and I think it's also one of those songs that is relevant to a lot of people. The opening lyrics basically sum up what's just going on in general with I think me, and a lot of my friends as we're going out into the "real" world. It is definitely not the easiest thing, but you can be anything you want, however you want. But Dreams just reminds me of the 90's, even though my parents were divorced and there was all that crap going on. At that moment when I first heard the song it just kind of takes me back to the simplicity of my younger life at age 7 or 8 when I heard it and ever since it always seems to come on at just the right times. Dreams are really never quite what they seem, but I guess they change and mine definitely have lately. Well there's my cheesy post for the day :)

"Oh my life is changing everyday
Every possible way
Though my dreams, it’s never quite as it seems
Never quite as it seems"

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Karma's a BITCH

I am not religious whatsoever (war..hello but this is a whole nother topic for a whole nother day), but I'm not completely faithless. I have faith in myself and the GOOD people that I surround myself with. If I believe in's karma. I like to think we all have these invisible karma tokens and you build up a stash (or you suck and you don't) kind of like paying it forward in a way. I think I've stored a lot of them (and have used a lot too). BUT this is kind of my own little thing that I think keeps me a good person and I know how and when to cash these in.

So if you've been reading my blog you kind of know who my roommate is. Well it's gotten to the breaking point. Sober roommate=biggest asshole on the planet. A lot of you also know that I helped him basically get rid of the little 19 year old and get him into his first steps of recovery from alcohol AND listening to him get all emotional for hours on end. Right before this debacle I flat out quit my job and have been looking for something ever since and had had a lot of money saved. Well so through this whole time helping my roommate he told me over and over during these drunk crying sessions: "don't even worry about rent, you are a great friend, I have tons of money (half a million to be exact), no one else cares and you do." all this stuff right and I was like wow thanks that could really help me out right now (I never asked him to do this). So after not doing his rehab and not going to meetings and making excuses his mother finally takes him to the hospital for detox telling me that his mother would take care of the dog while he was gone (which was good since my new job started early so I wouldn't have to get up so extra early to walk her etc...) The next day he then proceeds to tell me to help him out with the dog and I ask him if his mother would take her (like he'd already told me) just so I wouldn't have this huge inconvenience (After dealing with all of his already). He gets upset that "I won't even help him" blah blah blah. Mostly because I didn't believe he would go, I then say fine and try to figure out if one of my friends can walk the dog. The next day, the dog is gone with his mother as he tells me and I roll my eyes in annoyance. Well he went for like 3 days and he should have stayed for a month long program but he's worried about work which he doesn't really need to be (since it's a family business and he's loaded and they told him to take all the time he needs--because his mother told me this directly), he's just using it as an excuse again. He assures me he hasn't been drinking and is sober and is going to go to meetings (which I really don't believe) So after telling me about his detox I proceed to my room and as I leave he goes "So when are you going to pay me rent?" and I go oh well we talked about this like a hundred times and you said it was fine...I was completely taken aback like we had never had this conversation before. I really felt like I had earned my rent free month for dealing with the shit that I dealt with the whole time after he'd told me it was ok. He then proceeds to tell me he is annoyed that I use his detergent, paper towels, and that he can get someone to rent out the room for $1,000 (double what I pay), and that he feeds me (he invites me to eat dinner with him (like maybe 4 times out of the year I lived here) because he made so much food) I am standing there shocked, pissed, and hurt for investing my energy into helping him get better then to basically be told that he "can't have this in his life anymore" and basically said I was not welcome and that he needed my rent money (my measly $500 bucks). He is selfish, greedy, and unappreciative. It was a really big "fuck you Lorenzo". Well I'm done with that. I would rather hassle with moving and paying rent to someone who isn't an asshole and trust me, once you burn your bridge with never gets built again (I hold grudges like no other), I've already tried doing that too many times and people like my soon-to-be ex-roommate don't deserve that. So my karma tokens came into play right after that conversation...I've got a full work week and a new place to live with a normal person. Can't wait to see what karma will do next.